At first I think I felt anger. Anger towards the camp, anger towards Avi. And then you realize that it is less anger than disappointment. We really felt that this would be a good place for Avi for the two weeks. He has moved well beyond the behaviors that he was displaying and we will work with his therapist in the next sessions to try and figure out what was going on. For now, Avi will be on a flight out of Denver later this afternoon and I will pick him up this evening in Newark. The next week will be complicated as we had planned our schedule based on him not being here, but we will get through; what other choice do we have.

Or course we (and others) are asking the question “should we have sent Avi in the first place?” Perhaps he was not ready to be away, maybe we should have tried something closer to home, etc. I honestly do not think it was a mistake. I know that Avi had some positive times at camp and he had fun. He challenged himself to do things that he never did before, and never thought he would do. The other day when the group went horseback riding, he would not participate. I knew this would happen as I knew that he had some sort of fear or dislike of horses. On Tuesday, they went on their Massa (I believe this word is from a word for test, where the trip is testing their abilities). The group went on horseback to the edge of the ranch and camped out, including cooking their own dinner and breakfast, playing games and having a campfire. Avi was allowed to go by mountain bike with one of his counselors. Well, yesterday morning he decided that he wanted to go back to base camp on horseback. They radioed back to camp and another horse was brought up for him. That was an amazing accomplishment which truly validates the use of the word Massa for these trips. So were we right in trying this? I say yes, because despite the problems, there were positives and Avi did grow for being there.

I am reminded of the line in Batman Begins (and the other Batman movies): “Why do we fall? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.” This week was another trial for Avi and for us, and although we “fell”, we will pick ourselves up and move on, and in the end be better for having fallen.

The post Avi is coming home today first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.

I said yesterday that we are going to bring some Seder food. We are definitely bringing some Matza, some chicken soup with Matza balls and some Haroset. Perhaps we will come up with a few other things. A few weeks ago, Avi and I were looking through my Haggadah collection (I have quite a lot) and I told him that he could pick one that would be his Haggadah. Believe it or not, he happened to choose the one that was given to me as a gift when I was a boy. I told him that this would now be his Haggadah for every year (this Haggadah is a reprint of the famous Szyk Haggadah. You can see images from it here). We will bring this with us tonight as well, and some other materials from when he was at Schechter. The staff will be told when to give him the food so he can eat some of the Seder food at the same time as we are (or close to it).

Then I got the idea to get in touch with the Rabbi at the Conservative Synagogue that is near the hospital. It happens that both Marsha and I have a history with this Synagogue as we were both USY advisor there at different times. I was also friends with the Cantor and her husband when I was at JTS. I spoke to the Rabbi and he is being so nice and he will go visit Avi on Thursday or Friday afternoon. He will sit with Avi and do a little mini-Seder and sing a few songs with him etc. I think that given the circumstances Avi will be quite happy.

I reported yesterday that Avi started taking Prozac for depression. This morning when I spoke to him he was in very good spirits. He understands that he is not coming home for the Seders and he did not cry about it like all of our other phone conversations. I don’t know if Prozac works that fast, but something clearly is working (perhaps he is also moving into the acceptance stage and is ready to start getting better).

I don’t know if I will be able to post any updates before Pesah starts tomorrow evening. Tonight and tomorrow during the day will be dominated by final preparations for the Seders. So Marsha and I wish everyone a חג כשר ושמח and a זיסן פסח A Sweet, Kosher and Joyous Passover!

The post Every Little Thing first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.

On Tuesday Marsha will be meeting at the hospital with Avi’s therapist and we should get some idea of when he will be able to come home. Hopefully he will be able to go back to Princeton House for a few weeks and we will be working our town’s school district to find a good placement for him.

A big thank you to everyone who included Avi in their prayers this weekend, I am sure it helped.

The post Getting Better first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.

After scouts, we have to put the finishing touches on Avi’s Purim costume (photo on Friday). I discussed some about Purim the other day, but we get dressed up in costume the kids usually have some sort of costume parade before or after the public reading of the book of Esther at our Synagogue (Thursday night). It is a lot of fun and the kids also get goody bags. This will be the first time we have Purim in our Synagogue building since the fire last August, so hopefully it will be even more fun!

Then on Friday the kids will have a carnival at school and I even have off that day, being that the calendar has been nice enough to put Good Friday on the same day as Purim.

So I am looking forward to a fun few days and a nice little vacation from work.

Here are some fun Purim videos.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vTLxpz9HKs&hl=en]

This next one requires a few definitions. A Gmach is a communal organization where someone will have a bunch of a particular item that people use a lot and loan them out to other members of the community. A good example is a one in my community that has artificial flowers that can be borrowed for different events. A Purim Shpeil is a funny skit that is traditional to do on Purim. And finally many families who have moved from the US to Israel have kept some part of their business or work life in America, so the husbands often fly back to the US for short trips.

Now the video

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRRoWOvKklQ&hl=en]

The post Busy day first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.

“eema, I don’t think I can have my playdate with _____. ”  When mkm asked him why not, he said: “Because he has a hole in his heart and if we play it might make it worse.” (or something to that effect).

Understanding that there could be conditions like this, mkm tells Avi that if it were a problem, _____’s parents would have done what was needed to make it better.

The next day at the bus stop, mkm asked _______’s mom about this.  She asked ______ and we found out that the day before, ______ had a pimple on his chest that popped and he bled a bit.  At school the nurse had to change the bandage, so everyone in class found out that he was bleeding from his chest (a hole in his heart).

I laughed at the story as it is funny.  I also felt very proud of Avi at his concern for his friend.

The post Out of the Mouth of Seven Year Olds first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.

Soon after we bought him a clock radio/cd player for his room. He quickly figured out that his “alarm” could be a CD. I had burned a few CDs for him, but last night he came to me and said, “Abba, can you make a CD for me with “Good Morning, Good Morning” by The Beatles? That would be a great song to wake up to.”

Does my son have good taste or what?

So today’s song is “Good Morning, Good Morning”

And….on top of everything it continues my “middle Beatles” theme that I started yesterday and now I think will continue the rest of the week. “Good Morning, Good Mornin” appears on the Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band Album.

Enjoy!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5OQGknWnlI]

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So then the two declassified him and he had a great Kindergarten year at SSDSRV. Things deteriorated this year is first grade which is why we had private testing done and the final diagnosis of ADHD, ODD and a learning disability. So we decided that we should have SSDSRV ask the county to evaluate Avi and hopefully come up with an IEP that will allow us to move forward.

Well, Monday we had our meeting with his teachers and the county and it was determined that Avi does not qualify for services. So now we are back at square one. Although the ADHD medication has been helping, Avi still has difficulties in class and the professionals are just telling us, wait and see what happens with the meds and the therapy.

Avi is a bright kid, and when I sit with him to help him with his homework, he clearly has learned the material. I just wish we could find a way to help him act appropriately in school. We don’t have all the answers and I don’t know when and if we will but I can only pray that we can help Avi to achieve his fullest potential.

The post Its been a tough week first appeared on The Long and Winding Road.