Two of Us

Since Avi was born, I have been through two periods of unemployment. In both situations I was able to spend a lot of time with Avi than I had on a daily basis. During these two times, Avi formed a very strong bond with me. Over time this has become a real hardship for Marsha, as Avi would often give her problems because I was not there, or just would not respond unless I spoke to him.

Luckily, Avi is beginning to grow out of this phase and he although Marsha has problems with him, they come from the ASD rather than separation from me. What I am finding out is that this bond that began when Avi was born and was strengthened when I was home a lot, goes both ways. Avi spent 5 nights in a Psychiatric facility once before, this past summer. At that facility we were able to see him every day and he was discharged in less than a week to the partial hospital program at Princeton House. This time, we are now coming on one week away, and we are only able to see him twice a week. I can speak with him on the phone every day, but I am realizing how much I really want Avi home. I know that this treatment is in his best interests, but as I said to Marsha the other day, the brain and the heart are not always in sync.

The worst part is not being able to get information quick enough. In a time when I can get almost any information from the Internet in a matter of moments, it is very frustrating when I cannot get anything from his case managers. I understand that they are very busy and are most of the time not at a desk, but again, understanding and feeling are two separate things. So I have left messages and I call every hour to try and find out what is going on.

We saw Avi last night and he was ok, but he is very sad about being away from home, and since we only see him for 90 minutes twice a week, I have no way of knowing if he is improving. I need that feedback from his case manager to know.

Anyway, this posting was just a rant from a father very frustrated with the system and who is dying to have his son back home.

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