Vermont Vacation Day 5

Our last full day of Vermont ended up pretty good.  We went to Cabot Creamery in morning.  It is about a 50 minute drive from Stowe, and the kids were really great in the car.  We got there and had to wait 20 mintues for the next tour and again, the kids were really good.  They had tons of cheese for us to sample and also other dairy products like butter and dips.  We had our fill and then took the tour which was very interesting, and Avi was even asking a lot of questions.  Certainly a highlight of the trip!

After Cabot, we went back to the resort for lunch and then after a short rest time we (finally) made our way to the Kodesh Kodashim (Holy of Holies), Ben and Jerrys.  We got there at about 3:30 and they were giving out tickets for the 4:20 tour.  We could have bought Ice Cream then but the line was so long we were afraid that we would not make the tour.  So we browsed the gift shop and just hung out (even met a frum family from Passaic!)  The kids loved the tour and the taste of Ice Cream at the end.  I was very surprised to learn that Ben and Jerrys had been bought by Unilever a number of years ago.  I had not idea.  But they had a special deal with Unilever that Ben and Jerrys would be an autonomus company with and not have to change any of its social action ways.  Thank God for that, because Ben and Jerrys, having been founded by two nice red sea pedestrians, is all about social justice.

After the tour (when the line was short) we purchased the mini Vermonster (4 scoops of ice cream topped with fresh baked brownie, chocolate chip cookie, banana, hot fudge, whipped cream plus 4 more toppings!) to share.  It was great!  Of course, it was now close to 5:30 pm and we did not want to think about dinner.  We ended up waiting until about 7 to get the grill going and I grilled hotdogs and we finished up other leftovers.

All in all a great day (which of course was topped off with packing up to leave tomorrow morning).  I doubt I will blog tomorrow, but I have no idea what to expect from our trip.  Hopefully Avi will be better behaved.  We shall see…

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So which is it? Marsha saw this sign so many times she just had to take a photo.

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Vermont Vacation Day 4

After a few difficult days we did not know what to expect today, but I talked with Avi to try to help make Marsha’s birthday a good day for her.  And in the end, it mostly worked out.  The day began horrible however.  We wanted to take a hike, and we found what was called a moderate hike to a waterfall in Smuuglers Notch State Park, Bingham Falls.  Avi would not do anything we asked of him.  Mostly he decided he would not put on his sneakers.  I do not understand this, but Avi hates wearing socks and he hates wearing sneakers.  I have yet to figure this out.  I finally got him in sneakers without socks.  Had he not agreed to put on the sneakers, he would have been forced to stay in the bedroom all day with nothing to do, so in the end, he realized what he needed to do.

Of course Avi was the kid who loved the hike the most!  It starts as a well defined path that leads down towards a river which you can hear.  As you get closer, you have to step down a steel slope with rocks designed as stairs to go down.  Once a the botttom the payoff for your work is amazing, a beautiful waterfall!

After we stayed there for a while we went back to the car and back to the resort for lunch.  After lunch I got Avi to go with me to the pool.  While we were in the outdoor pool, I looked up and there, maybe 25 yards from the pool was a bull, enjoying grazing!  Where else can you swim with a bull watching over you!

After we got back we got the kids out again to do some hiking on the Trapp grounds.  We took a short walk (up a steep hill) to a chapel built by one of the children of Maria and Georg Von Trapp.  Then we took the senic route back to the main road.  The kids complained a bit about the lenght, but in the end it turned out ok.

Finally we ended the day with a birthday dinner for Marsha in Waterbury.

Tomorrow we will start the day at Cabot Creamery and learn all about their cheeses, and after lunch we will finally get the kids to the Ben and Jerrys factory tour!  I know they are looking forward to that.

PhotobucketMarsha and Shayna at the falls

PhotobucketThe falls themselves

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Vermont Vacation, Day 3

Today had its ups and downs here in VT.  We were off to Burlington to visit the Lake Champlain Chocolate company and Shelburne farms.  After some fighting over who sits where in the car, we were off at about 10 am with a 50 minute drive to make an 11 am tour at the chocolate factory.  Thank God we made it because it was a real success.  We got to see how chocolate is made and saw some of the wonderful things they are making there.  Everyone got a few things to sample, and there are a lot of bowls of chocolat all over the store for people to sample.  I highly recommend going here if you are ever in the Burlington area.

We then made our way to the farm over major protests from Avi.  He said things like I do want to go, or farms are stupid, etc.  It was a real fight.  I got him to move when we got there especially since you go on a wagon ride to the farm area from the parking lot.  He really liked that and he did like seeing some of the animals (although he wont admit it).  However, he made it very hard for me to see the other two kids having a good time at the farm.

On the way home we stopped off at an annex store for the chocolate company near Stowe and bought some factory seconds to bring home.  We also went into the Cabot Cheese annex and got to tasted a lot fo great cheese!

After a nice grilled chicken dinner we got the kids to bed and we can get rested for tomorrow.  Tomorrow Marsha turns 39 and I am praying that Avi makes it an easy day.  We are looking for a easy to moderate trail to hike and I think we have found a few possibilies.  Hopefully in the later afternoon we will go to this ncie mini-golf place in town to let the kids have fun (and us!)  We will cap off tomorrow with a nice birthday dinner out for Marsha.

Tune in tomorrow to see how it turns out.  Same bat time, same bat channel!

PhotobucketShayna and me milking a cow

PhotobucketNoam enjoying petting a bunny

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Vermont Vacation Day 2

After a very difficult trip up to Vermont, I am happy to report that day 2 was tons better.  We have learned that with two little kids and one pre-teen autistic kid, it is best not to push to get up early and quickly out the door.  Of course it did not help that both Marsha and I were up to 1 am on our computers last night doing email and facebook.

When I did get up the kids had been up for at least an hour but were playing very nice.  We had brought up some new little games and that kept their interest for a while.  Avi and I took a little quick trip into downtown Stowe to go to the bagel store.  Apparently, this store (appropriately called “The Bagel”) is owned by transplanted Brooklynites, and they know how to make real NY style bagels.  I wish they had kosher certification because at $7 a bakers dozen they are a bargin!

Again with our kids we ha ve learned not to over plan a day.  We went into Waterbury and checked out the Green Mountain Roasters welcome center and learned all about coffee (marsha came away with a couple of pounds) and we wanted to go to a little tea shop for me, but unfortunately, they are closed on Mondays.

Then we went to the Cold Hollow Cider Mill.  We had been there in the past, but the boys did not remember.  Unfortunately, they were out of cider!  The ran out of apples in July this year and had none left.  They expect their first shipment of the season later this week so we might go back.  We did, however, get a dozen of the most amazing apple cider doughnuts that you can imagine.  They can thankfully make them with reconstituted boiled cider which they have in the store so the visit was not all a loss.

Then we went to a glass blowing studio and the kids were amazed (as were their parents) while the artist made a beautiful glass lamp shade.

After that is was back to the resort for lunch and some rest and Marsha took Noam and Shayna to the pool while Avi and I napped (a rarity for Avi!).  This kids were looking forward to the campfire they were to have tonight with all the s’mores you can eat, but unfortunately it rwained for 30 minutes right when it was supposed to start, so it was cancelled.  We did, however, get the see the most glorious rainbow after the storm ended (photos below) so the loss of the campfire was not too bad (helped by the fact that we are going to make s’mores in the wood burning stove in our unit in a little while).

The resort is quite beautiful.  The cottage we are in is very well kept and we have a wonderful deck with magnificent views.  It was very lucky for us to be able to trade into this resort because most of the timeshare owners come here every year and I can see why.  When the kids are older, I can easily see buying one of these and coming here once a year.

Tomorrow it is off to Burlington to see the Lake Champlain Chocolate company (Kosher!!!) and Shelburne farms.  Should be a fun day.

Here are a few photos of the area around our unit and the rainbow.

Enjoy!

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PhotobucketViews from the deck of our unit

PhotobucketThe rainbow!

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Vermont Vacation Day One

This year’s vacation is in Stowe, Vermont.  We have been to Stowe a couple of times before and we really love Vermont.  We traded our timeshare for a week at the Trapp Family Lodge.  It is owned and operated by the Von  Trapp Family (from the Sound of Music fame).  The week, unfortunately, is a Saturday start, but we decided to take it anyway, and just go up on Sunday and leave on Friday.  It is a short week, but Shabbat without much to do is very difficult for Avi, so this seemed for the best.

We began packing on Saturday night and this includes not only our clothing, but food supplies since we do most of our own cooking while we are there.  It makes vacationing much less expensive (but next summer for Marsha’s 40th she wants to go away and not have to cook at all!)  I think we finally got to bed at about 2am!  Yikes!t

My goal was to leave by 9 am.  Marsha’s goal was to leave by 10 am.  We left at a little after 11 am and for the most part (except the GW bridge) we had very little traffic.  We did, however, have to stop a number of times.  Not only for bathroom breaks, but for Avi breaks (explanation not necessary).  We had hoped to stop at the King Arthur store in Norwich VT, but it became clear as we got closer to Vermont, that this would have to wait until the trip home (for those who do not know King Arthur, check out their website).

The drive up was very difficult.  Not the drive itself, but Avi was very difficult.  This may be the last long driving trip we take for a while, as Avi make it very unbearable at times.  And this is despite bringing DVDs to watch in the car, his DSi and lots of other games and activities.  Thank God there were a few 20 – 30 minute periods of relative calm.

We were planning on grilling hotdogs for dinner, but as it got later, we deiced to stop for pizza and found a nice little pizza place somewhere near Montpelier.  While we were there the sky opened up and it poured for the next hour or so.  Yuck!  We finally got to Waterbury at about 8 pm.  After filling up the car and doing some quick shopping at the local Shaws, it was off to the lodge.

We arrived at the lodge at about 9 and as quickly as possible got everything in the unit and the kids to bed.  And after some decisions as to what we will be doing for the next few days, I took a few minutes to write this quick blog and then go to bed!

Tomorrow we will explore Stowe and take the kids to an active Cider Mill, a glass blowing studio and some of the shops in town.  There is also a wonderful walking trail in Stowe so we might walk some of that as well.  As long as I keep Avi moving and active we should be fine.

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The Past Couple of Days

The past few days have been somewhat difficult for us.  First, on Wednesday evening I started to have some pains in my abdomen and back.  I have had kidney stones before, but this was more painful than anything I have every experienced, and finally I had Marsha take me to the hospital.  Of course this had to happen when our hospital coverage is much lower than it has ever been (my new insurance is quite bad), but the pain was so intense that I had no choice.

Soon after we got there they took me in and after about a half hour they hooked me up to an IV and gave me some form of morphine.  After a few minutes the pain had finally gone away.  We were there for a few hours more and after some vomiting and an anti-nausea shot, I was on my way home.  Since then, I have been drinking a lot of water which seems to help me with the pain (I think keeping the system hydrated makes the stone move faster).

Then, yesterday, after two great days, Avi had an incident at camp and they asked us to take him home.  We do not know if we should be angry or not.  Perhaps we set him up in a situation where he was bound to fail.  I don’t know.  His therapist seemed happy that we were trying this, but it just did not work out.  Now for the next two weeks, Marsha is going to have to deal with Avi each day which certainly does not make her life easy.

Sometimes, though, some good can come from bad things.  Marsha and Avi were at Target today and United Way was sponsoring a school supply drive in the parking lot with free crafts for kids.  A local radio station was there (WMGQ) and they had this bean bag toss game and Avi got three bean bags in the hole to win us two tickets to see Sister Act on Broadway in Sept!  Avi Got Pokemon cards and a Dunkin Donut, and we get to have a night in the city.  Way to go Avi!

In three weeks we are going on vacation to Vermont for a week so Marsha will have it a little easier since we will all be together.  Then there will be a week home for all of the kids and then (finally!) back to school.

In honor of Avi winning us the tickets, here is a clip from the Tony Awards of Sister Act.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAGMdgsvLkU]

Enjoy!

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Everyday is a Winding Road

Thanks to Cheryl Crow for today’s title (which is of course, close to my Beatles blog title!)  Friday was the last day of the ESY program at Avi’s school.  As part of Avi’s IEP he is to get what is called Extended School Year.  In theory this is to keep Avi in the proper environment all year long.  What it means in reality (and the minimum mandated by law) that Avi gets to continue at his school through the end of July.  In past years we have tried Avi at different summer programs with some successes and many failures.  This year, we decided to keep him at his school program and it clearly was the right idea.  He did very well at Newmark for July, earning close to the max points most days and at the end of the summer her was able to purchase from the school store a set of walkie talkies that he had been wanting.

We are going away on a family vacation for the fourth week of August, so that leaves us with three weeks where we need to occupy his time.  When he saw the brochure for Noam’s camp, he was very jealous.  So I called the camp director and we worked out a way for Avi to attend for the three weeks.  He would have a shadow that we would pay to be with him at all times at the camp.  In the weeks leading up to camp, Avi discussed this with his therapist a number of times, and they worked out some guidelines for Avi (respect the camp and the counselors, leave others alone if you are angry and he can go to a specific place as a “safe spot” if he is getting too frustrated).  Everything was sounding great and Avi was really looking forward to going.

Well, “mann tracht, gott lacht” as the Yiddish saying goes (man plans, God laughs).  Avi gave a real fight when he was getting on the bus this morning because he was unable to sit in the seat he wanted.  We had gone over this with him and told him that he might not get to sit exactly where he wants, but he blew up an ran home.  Marsha went home to get him and after a while Avi said he was ready to get on the bus and knowing that they could get to another stop she drove him and he got on there.  We soon heard that he was fighting on the bus and caused the bus to stop twice but they got to camp.  He was spoken to and everything was ok for the moment.  He was fighting again later (not sure about the details yet) and Marsha is going to go pick him up at 3:30 this afternoon at the camp (camp ends at 4 so they are still trying to make it work).

I don’t know if this is it for him at camp, or if we are going to try again tomorrow.  We knew it would be a day to day trial, but I had hoped it would go a little further.  If he follows the three guidelines, he will earn points (our old Avi Dollars!) and with them he can get the pokemon cards he really wants.  For his this is a big incentive, so I am hoping that this was just a first day thing and he can go tomorrow without problems.  During the last week of camp the camp is going to Six Flags Great Adventure, and I know he really wants to go, so hopefully with these incentives, he will calm down and we will be able to get this to work. If not, it’s going to be a long three weeks.

 

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Workin’ For A Livin’

I think by now, most of my friends and family know that I am finally working again.  It’s been a very long haul of more than a year.  I sent out thousands of resumes, spoke to countless recruiters and went to many interviews.  A number of the interviews were very positive but nothing came from there.  Yesterday I read an article in the New York Times that talks about the fact that many companies are not only discriminating against unemployed people by not hiring them, but they are actually advertising this.  Ads on job boards specifically state that the applicants need to be currently (or recently) employed!  It’s pretty crazy and I think clearly unfair (and hopefully illegal!)

 I am not sure why employers are doing this.  It is possible that for some, they believe that people out of work will have lost skills or missed the opportunities to leran new or updated skills.  This is possible, but I know that when I was not working I was doing my best to keep up with new technologies and keep myself ready for an eventual new job.  Plus many of these jobs were lower-skilled where this excuse makes little sense.

 I also wonder (based on a column by the same author of the aforementioned article) if this is bad for the employers.  Jobs lost last year were mostly due to the recession.  Those people are highly skilled but lost their jobs due to financial issues.  Today (when layoffs are low) people loosing a job are probably doing so because they were incompetent in their job.  Those are the people who employers will look at when searching!

Well, now that that is off of my chest, I will say that I am very happy to be working and I think I have found a good job.  I am working for Tek Systems, a very large IT consulting firm.  My permanent placement is at FDNY and my job title is Lead Platforms Engineer.  My job is to work on different server and network projects for the New York Fire Department.  I have a few big projects now so I am sure the job will not be boring.

FDNY headquaters is in Brooklyn, but just over the river from Manhattan.  The complex here is called MetroTech and it is a very nice office complex.  Lots of park space and tons of places to eat.

Now that things are more stable, I hope to start blogging again (I know I have said that many times, but this time I am going to try).  In the meantime, I hope everyone is having a great summer, and please let me hear from you!

Enjoy!

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Welcome to Holland

After all of these years with an autistic boy it’s hard to imagine that I had not seen this essay before a few days ago. Please read and forward to your friends.

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by
Emily Perl Kingsley.

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It’s like this……

When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say. “What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very, very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.

Here is a wonderful song based on this essay. You need to click the link to hear the music, I cannot embed it here.

Enjoy!

Posted in ASD, Autism, Avi, family | 4 Comments

The Four Questions

Now that Passover is just upon us it is time for me to do some blogging. We have been a bit behind in our Passover planning this year and it will be the smallest Sedarim that I can recall. The first night we will be ten for sure, with the possibility of another family bringing our total to 14. We will only need our regular dining room table. YAY! It certainly makes things easier. I also hope that with smaller sedarim we will be able to do a little more in terms of the actual Haggadah. In past years, we would have given everyone the same Haggadah and gone around the table reading the text. We would stop here or there to discuss a section or two, but for the most part it was just reading. This year, I think we will read some of the text, but pick a couple of sections each night to discuss in more detail. Perhaps I will give each participant a different Haggadah and they can use their text to add to our discussions.

I was recently learning a bit about the four questions and I wanted to share two things here. The first thing is not exactly about the questions per se but about the use of the number four in the Haggadah. With minor exception (the three Matzot, the three sections about the foods and the 15 steps of Dayeinu) the entire Haggadah is built on the number four. Four cups of wine, four questions, four children, four uses of Barukh in Barukh HaMakom, etc. The Vilna Gaon came up with the following explaination.

This is hinted at in Berakhot 54b, where we read that there are four people who are obligated to give thanks: one who has returned from a sea voyage; one who has returned for a caravan crossing the desert; one who has recovered from a serious illness; and one who has been freed from prison. Indeed, these four correspond to the experiences of the Jewish people in the Passover narrative. The Jewish people also left prison; passed through the sea; traveled across the desert; and, when they received the healing of the Torah at Sinai, were returned to health as if from a serious spiritual illness.

I have long been fascinated by how many “number fours” there are in the text, and I really like this explanation.

The second text is for all of my teacher friends. It is from a parody Haggadah that was written in Odessa in 1885 called Haggadah Lem’lamdim or the Haggadah of Teachers.

How does teaching differ from all other professions in the world?

All the other professions enrich, and their practitioners eat and drink and are happy all the days of the year. But teachers groan and sorrow even on this night.
In all other professions the workers do not dare to be brazen before their employers. But in teaching the boys and girls constantly disrupt, and yet all find the teachers to be guilty.
In all other professions there is peace. But among the teachers the opposite is true.
All professions can earn their livelihood with honor and receive their salary in full. But teachers acquire only a crust of bread and water, along with insults and abuses, and instead of a salary they receive hunger and famine.

Were they writing in the 1880s or the 2010s? Also note (for your own discussion) that they included boys and girls in their text (habanim v’habanot is in the Hebrew) and it shows that the girls were also in school with the boys!

Finally to end with something fun, if you have not already see this…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIxToZmJwdI]

Enjoy!

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